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Transcript of this video:

Recognise this guy, sure you do, he’s Rolf Harris. Up until his dramatic fall from grace you would probably have identified him as an artist/comedian/singer-songwriter/TV presenter and all-round entertainer. That’s what people thought he was, but he was really something very different: a magician. You see, for decades Rolf Harris sexually assaulted girls and women; he did this not only blatantly but in front of witnesses, and nobody noticed. Not only that, but none of his victims said anything at the time. Ain’t that magic  or what?

For example, he sexually assaulted this woman when she was a teenager; this is Tonya Lee, and guess what, the experience was so traumatic that it ruined her life, but the $66k she made out of selling her non-story to the Australian media prior to his trial went some small way toward compensating her for that.

But it gets even better, because not only did he sexually assault women without anyone noticing, he did it without even being there. This is Wendy Wild, named after her imagination. Harris sexually assaulted her at the Leigh Park Community Centre when she was a child, even though he’d never been there. Is that magic or what?

Hey, where did that elephant come from?

But even though you’re undoubtedly amazed, you needn’t be, because the truth is, there are quite a few people who can perform magic tricks like this. Donald Trump is one. This is Jessica Leeds, she was groped by Trump in the first class section of a plane, groped repeatedly, and no one noticed. She is one of many Trump accusers.

But the Daddy of them all has to be Bill Cosby, magician supreme. Like Harris, he sexually assaulted women long distance. This is one of his victims: Louisa Moritz; sadly, she doesn’t look like this now, but when she did, Cosby orally raped her in the green room on The Tonight Show, August 23, 1971. She was there; he was not. And this is his most recent victim. She was drugged and sexually assaulted by Cosby at the Playboy Mansion in 2008, even though he wasn’t there at the time. She waited nearly seven years to report this assault. Did you ever see magic like that?

Rolf Harris will be standing trial for the third time later this month. If you sit on that jury, here is some advice for you. If you believe in magic, please convict him. But if like me you don’t, give these lying hags short shrift with a resounding not guilty.

Tie me kangaroo down, sport, tie me kangaroo down.